Friday, October 21, 2011
Pink or Blue?
This pregnancy has been so different for a number of reasons. My morning sickness was different. With Georgie I was tied-to-the-toilet sick every night from week 8 until about week 14. With this baby, I was kinda-feeling-gross-all-day-but-not-too-bad for a few months, but it was definitely easier.
I was also a lot more conscious of being pregnant with Georgie, probably because she was my first and I wasn't so busy. Whereas this time, I almost forgot I was pregnant a lot of the time. This baby is a heck of a lot more active than I remember Georgie being. And it's sitting differently too, Georgie was quite low, but this baby feels permanently lodged in my ribcage. This pregnancy also feels like it's flown by. I am also so, so, so much more exhausted this time around. It's just different.
But the biggest difference I've found, is that I honestly cannot tell you whether I would rather have a boy or a girl. With Georgie, I wanted a girl. Oh, I wanted a girl. I said I didn't mind.... but I really, really wanted that girl. I think I was so scared of never getting to have a daughter. I watch my Mum with her girls, and I just really wanted that relationship. I was also worried about having all boys. Not that I didn't want a boy. But I know if I had to choose between having all girls or all boys, it would be girls. I wanted to play with dresses and skirts and hair and ribbons. I know girls. I grew up as one of four girls. My sister has three girls. Girls just seemed... easier.
But now, I don't feel quite so scared of boys. Maybe it's because I know now that I won't have all boys. I must admit the idea of boys is still a bit scary, probably because it's fear of the unknown. But at the same time, I would quite like to try it. I also really want Shane to have a son. I know it will be different, but I feel like I am a little more able to tackle the idea of a boy now.
However I just can't really say that I really desperately want this baby to be a girl or a boy. If we were stopping at two I might want a boy. But we are pretty sure that we will have more after this. I must admit at the moment I do not fancy the idea of being pregnant again, but I know in time I will be ready for another one. I just want to have a bigger gap between this one and the next one.
So I just can't really say. On the one hand, a girl would be nice. It would be nice to have two little girls, two sisters close together. There is something so lovely about little girls. Plus, we have an awful lot of girl clothes, and it might make things nice when it comes to room sharing and sisters a grade apart. But on the other hand, a boy would be....a boy. A son. It would be nice to know what it's like to have a son. I also love both names that we have picked.
So I just can't say. In my gut I think this could be a boy, but I was sure (positive!) that Georgie was a boy.... so you can't trust that. I kind of wish we had found out, it would make things so much easier in terms of getting ready. But it was a fantastic surprise to meet Georgie when she arrived, and so I'm content to wait. I have 10 weeks to go and am getting quite excited about meeting this new little person.
At the end of the day, I know it will be a baby anyway, and that's pretty awesome.
Linking up with Shae for Things I know today and Glowless for Flog Yo Blog Friday :)