Showing posts with label Georgie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Georgie. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

4 and 2 and a half.



My children are growing right before my eyes. And yet, every day is Groundhog Day. The same thing, all the time. Each hour, each day flows seamlessly into the next, and because I am the closest person to these tiny humans, I sometimes forget that they are, in fact not going to be like this forever. I want them to grow up, and live and do, and be. But sometimes I am terrified for them, because sadly, futures are not always rosy. And I wish I could keep back just a tiny little bit of baby-ness of my own, for always. Just to snuggle up with every now and then.

I sometimes think life would be much nicer if you could pick and choose which days to live according to your needs. So, for a few days you could be a grown up and go to work, and then when you were really weary of that, you could be a baby for a little while and sleep lots, and be taken care of. When you are old and lonely and tired, you could go back to being a Mummy of small children when you are being touched all the time. I know it wouldn't work of course. But still, you know.

Four

So, being just-recently-four is really hard, I think. My Georgie-girl, she has very definite ideas about things. Her line of 'traffic' in the morning when she plays with her cars must be just so. And when things fall apart as her brother (inevitably) destroys that oh-so-precious row of cars, they fall apart big time. There are so many big emotions encased in that little body. She feels all the feels. And I must admit, often I am not overly empathetic. It's hard when you have a child who acts like everything is an emergency. It gets a bit like the boy who cried wolf some days. I worry for her, I hope that she will be able to manage her feelings okay, in this big feelings-inducing world.

She is working out her world, and oh, the questions! Whoever said the average four year old asks 437 questions a day, was not lying. If I had a dollar for every time I was asked What is for dinner? What are we doing now? What will we do tomorrow? What will we do this afternoon? I would be a very wealthy woman. My girl is into dressing ups in a big way. She loves Frozen and is happiest when she is dressed in her Princess Elsa costume. She has three pairs of dress-up high heels, and we have had countless negotiations about where we can wear them.




She doesn't sleep very well at night. And while, that used to bother me so much, (Because she was such a good sleeper for the first couple of years of her life) I am slowly learning to roll with it. She often creeps into our bed in the middle of the night, and I sometimes end up moving into her bed for some space. Other times I end up squished into her bed with her like a sardine in a can, inhaling her childish loveliness. Mostly I long to have an uninterrupted night's sleep with nobody touching me. But I know, this too shall pass, and one day I will miss it.

She and her brother are either best friends, or fighting like wild cats. Some days they are at each others throats constantly, and it drives me insane, because they are both as bad as each other, constantly teasing, and shouting and goading one another. Someone is always running to me complaining about something their sibling has done. There is a constant battle over who gets to open a door first, or turn off the TV. But the next minute, they are playing happily, giggling to one another, or cuddling up in bed. I really want my kids to take care of each other, and be kind to each other. I think it is so important for siblings to be friends, and I hope my kids always like their family.





Two and a half

Goodness, I like two and a half. Master Charles is busy. I'm pretty sure I said this about Georgie too, but truly, he is one of the busiest little people I have ever known. If he is awake, he is doing. I often say Charlie only has two modes. On or Off. He is a brilliant sleeper, mostly it takes an earthquake to shift him, and generally he only wakes at night for a good reason. But when he is awake, it is all systems go!

Sometimes it is slightly terrifying, finding out what Charlie has been up to. A couple of weeks ago he had an obsession with finding out what was inside of eggs, and I think he managed to crack over a dozen eggs in the space of a week whenever anyone's back was turned. He also scares me sometimes because he thinks he is so very capable. We had to re-secure the drawer where the sharp knives are kept. "I do it!" is a constant catch-cry.

He is always doing. One of his favourite pastimes is digging in the backyard. Poor Shane often gets frustrated when he comes home and sees what Charlie has been up to. Our once pristine lawn now has tiny little piles of dirt and gravel through it, which makes it really fun to mow. But Charlie loves it. He loves to go to 'work' with Daddy. Shane often takes him out with him, when he does boy things, and the little man heart adores it. He has a little high vis shirt that he wears for 'work' and it is so cute.



I love his tiny little deep voice. He is getting so big! But he is good at reminding us that he is "Only little!" He can be quite rough and physical, but he is nice. He is a very kind, considerate little soul for all his rambunctious ways, and I hope that will always be so. He is still a bit of a Mummy's boy, and often when we are out at playgroup or something, he will get upset if he loses track of me. But when Shane is around every inch of him belongs to his Daddy. He just adores his Father, and if Shane is home there is always a Charlie shaped shadow following him.




Four and Two and a half makes for a very full life. And while, sometimes it threatens to overwhelm me, mostly I am very grateful, and I do like it very much.



Monday, August 11, 2014

Begin again tomorrow


Oh, today! Today mostly kicked my butt. My little girl may have just recently turned four, but at times she is still such a threenager. I tried today, I really really did. But you know how it is, when sometimes you go to bed stuffed with good intentions, dreaming of the wonderful things you will do when you wake up.... and that is the morning when tiny little imps have siphoned out all your good intentions and left you with with a Very Bad Mood?

Well today me and my Very Bad Mood went off to Zumba class, and we tried really hard to ignore it and suck it up when a little person made me stop every flipping two minutes. Today I tried to soothe the Very Bad Mood with coffee from the drive through window after Zumba and a play in the park. But alas, by the time we got home, the Very Bad Mood collided with Impossible To Please Daughter, and together that spawned and mutated into An Epic Loss Of Temper with bonus Blinding Rage. It wasn't good.

I haven't lost my temper like that in a really long time. And I hate, hate, hate the fact that my poor small girl always seems to bear the brunt of my outbursts. We both had a good howl and I apologized, but 'sorry' doesn't magically erase all the hurt. Sometimes I get so very frightened of the emotional bruises and scars my babies will be left with. I want so badly to be the mother they deserve, but it is so, so hard. I swear, you never realise how incredibly selfish you are until you become a parent. It's not a very nice thing to find out about yourself.

Anyway, as a result, today has been a bit suckful. I have been feeling guilty and ashamed and hating on myself a fair bit. It's hardest to forgive yourself, I think. My children, they are lovely and forgive me straight away. There are lots of lessons I need to learn from them.

But husbands who come home and help pick up the pieces make things a bit better, as do mothers who provide a shoulder to cry on. Music helps too.



Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Birthday memories and blessings

I have a lovely friend who is learning how to take beautiful photographs, and she took photos at the little birthday party we had for Georgie a few months ago. So even though it's been a while now since she turned 3, I thought I would still share some here. Because they really are the most lovely photographs. 



We had a nice little party with our playgroup friends in the backyard. It was nothing particularly fancy. But somehow, when you look at it through beautiful pictures, the morning is transformed into something magical.






I was a little bit proud of my cake making efforts. It was a three layer pink ombre cake, with pale pink icing, and a fresh strawberry and cream and jam filling. It tasted awesome! It's lovely when food tastes as good as it looks.



 


 

My funny girl got very self-conscious when everyone sang happy birthday. I know I am a bit biased, but goodness she is beautiful.

 

How I love her!




That same clever friend who took the photographs is the same person who made Georgie's beautiful birthday princess dress. I am abundantly blessed with good people.

 




Even though these pictures are only a few months old, my girl already seems so much more grown up than she was here. It's really hard to believe it at times, but they do grow up so quickly. I am so glad I get to be her Mummy.



Tuesday, April 9, 2013

33 and 15


Lately, this little ole' blog has been a bit of a me me me show. So I thought I'd catch up on where the kids are at the moment.

My Georgie, she is getting so big! She is 33 months old now, nearly 3 years! She loves 'dressing up' and when we go out anywhere, she has to have her sunglasses and her 'pretty necklace.' She is such a girl, and I love it.

 

She is such a helper too, and she is just so funny. Little things she does, like for instance, when I tell her that when playschool is finished she needs to turn the T.V off... she will go and turn the television off when her program finishes, and the come to me crying her eyes out "More T.V Mummy?" and yet she still does what she is told! It is so sweet, and I smile a secret smile nearly every time she does it.

 


Sometimes she and her brother fight so much! They just scratch and pinch, and pull hair, and bite, and wrestle, until I am about ready to scream! I don't know how many times I have uttered the phrase "Stop fighting!" And I'm sure I will say it a few hundred thousand more times yet. Mostly though, they are pretty good friends. I love watching them be siblings, it makes my heart happy.


I have put the two of them into the same room to sleep, and it has gone really well. It surprised me, because I wasn't necessarily anticipating it to be good, especially because Georgie doesn't always sleep very well. But I think that because Charlie is such a deep sleeper it has been okay. Georgie actually seems to be sleeping better now that she has company in her room!



Oh, my boy. I love this kid to bits! He is at such a delightful age. 15 months is full on.  Discovering and learning and growing all the time. He is getting so big! He is strong and fearless and he only stops to eat and sleep. I often think an adequate description of Charlie is 'adventure on legs.' He is starting to talk so much, and loves his 'Dad-dad-dad, Mum-mum-mum,' and 'pup-pup-puppy!' he is amazingly eloquent, despite his lack of words. He can express himself beautifully, and he hides nothing. With Charlie, you know exactly how he is feeling. I hope I can always read him so well.




 I am really glad I get to be Mum.




Sunday, December 2, 2012

29 and 11

I realised the other day that I haven't written too much lately about the kids. Which is a shame, because they are pretty great. So I thought I'd do an update on where my two cheeky monkey's are at lately.





Georgie. Where do I start? She is almost 2 and a half. She is bright and clever and independent. She is always a couple of steps ahead of me, and I swear some days I can just see the wheels turning in her little head. She is such a little mama. She 'mothers' poor Charlie to death at times, but she is also so incredibly helpful, and such a little mimic, and is terribly funny!

 

 She is on her way to being toilet trained, and wears undies almost all of the time now, and is only still in nappies when she sleeps. And oh, how she loves to swim! Every time we step foot in a pool I get comments about how good at swimming she is, how much she loves it, or how enthusiastic she is. I swear she is part dolphin. We have just started swimming lessons this term and she loves it! She is one of the very youngest in her class, but she holds her own with the bigger kids. She is getting very capable in the water now, and my only trouble is making sure she is not too capable. She does have a tendency to just jump in, whether someone is ready to help her or not! But she is a good little swimmer.

 

 She loves routine. She loves to dance, and is turning into a little chatterbox. She is also turning into a real little girl, loves to dress in 'pretty dresses' and is getting so beautiful. She is my girl, and she is lovely.






And Charlie. How I adore my boy! He is the most awesome little baby boy in the world!



He is so sweet, and cuddly. But he can also be a little ball of mischief as well. He is 11 months old now, (almost 1!) outgrowing a lot of his soft baby chubbiness and he is starting to get a lot more muscular. He is standing up on everything and his favourite thing to do is push around kitchen chairs, walking behind them and making a tremendous noise. He will be walking soon. He also LOVES  food with a passion, especially big people food!



 He is a practically perfect baby and has been sleeping the night through since he was about 6 months old. He has basically ruined me for another baby, should we ever have one. He tends to be quite cheerful most of the time, and rarely gets grumpy. Mind you, when he is grumpy he will sometimes hit and pull hair and lash out a little. His philosophy seems to be "If I'm unhappy, I'm going to tell the whole world about it and make them unhappy too!" It will be interesting to see if he sticks with that one as he gets older! It's definitely a good thing he is rarely cranky! Before I had him I wasn't too sure about being a mummy of boys, but he has made me so incredibly grateful to God for a son. Because I love this kid to bits.





We have been jogging along steadily. We are hanging out for holidays, and a break. This last week has seen a bit more limping (it's been a rough week). But for the most part, we are doing okay. I am doing much better, and my bad days are not so bad. And, though we have our struggles and our difficulties, life with these guys is pretty good.



Friday, October 19, 2012

My children are not me.

You know something that sounds a little silly, but is true nonetheless? At times, I kind of forget that my children are not me.

They start off as little tiny creatures that are inside of you, so close, that it feels like the are a part of you. That emptiness after you've given birth, and suddenly there is no being inside of you.... it's a bit bittersweet. It's exhilarating, sure, to be so light all of a sudden. Yet it's also just a bit sad too, hollow. But the baby, the baby is so close. It still is a part of you. The baby still is you. Your milk nourishes it's tiny body, keeps it alive. Your child needs your touch, your scent. You are still one.

But then over time, it changes. They start to become independent little beings. Who have their own minds, their own desires, their own needs, their own feelings, and their own thoughts.

My children are not me.

I mean, if I wanted to, I could try and raise them as little carbon copies of myself. Not allow them to question, or think. Stifle their thoughts and feelings and force them to be something they are not. But that isn't what I want for them.

And so, they do things that are completely contrary to things I would do. They make choices that are completely impossible for me to understand. They may go off and live lives for themselves that I would never have imagined.

They are my tiny people, yes. But they are people. They are not me. And it's kind of weird to remember that. They won't be my babies for long. I have to let them make mistakes. Make their own choices. I have to cherish and take care of them. And help them learn to be whoever they are.

 Heck, the world's already got me. It needs Georgina. It needs Charles.

And that's even better.




Because those two little people are awesome.



Linking this post up with Grace today! (It's been a long time since I've posted on Friday!)

Friday, September 21, 2012

Waiting

We've been a little busy round these parts lately. Last weekend saw us off to the city.

Shane went off to ride bikes with my brother-in-law. He has become a bit of a biking enthusiast, and on Sunday he did a 50km mountain bike race. He had never actually ridden 50km before, was getting over a cold, and wasn't quite sure if he could actually do it... but he did! I am just a little bit proud of him.

Buggered... also, hot!

The small girl did her EEG test and she was an absolute angel. She sat and read books, and we sang songs, and played with puzzles for a whole hour while she had lots of wires stuck to her head. We won't have the results for two weeks, and they still may not show anything... but in the meantime she has had no more seizures, so we'll just wait and see how we go. She has still been very unwell though, and this week has been one filled with cuddles (which is so unlike her) and she has not been sleeping very well at all, which means I am also incredibly tired. But she does seem to be acting more like herself today.

 


We spent a lot of time wandering around beautiful spring gardens while we were away, and were lucky enough to be stopped by a local newspaper photographer while we were taking some photos for ourselves, and he took a couple of beautiful shots. Georgie and Shane even ended up on the front page of Monday's paper!





I am a little bit in love with a couple of those pictures. Who knew we could look so good?

Hopefully, soon they will be able to figure out what is going on with Georgie, and we can get life back into a more comfortable rhythm.  We are happy, and everything's fine. But I know I have an awful lot of nervous tension just beneath the surface. I feel like I'm waiting for the knife to fall, or for the other shoe to drop. Or something.

This morning I found myself lying on the floor being a mummy-shaped jungle gym for my two monkeys. As Georgie bounced on my tummy, and I laughed (all the while being hyper-aware of the baby boy being who very close to biting my leg) I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happier, more content, and I couldn't quite keep the tears from forming.

I don't know what I am waiting for, what needs to happen. But I wish very much it would happen soon.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

shattered

It's amazing how you can wake up one day and have a set plan, or expectation of how that day is going to go, only to reach the end of the day and feel like your world might not be the same.

This morning we had playgroup at my house. It was a nice morning. We drank coffee, and talked, and the kids played madly in the spring sunshine. Just as it was getting to lunchtime, Georgie got a bit tired and cranky and came and sat on my lap. She just wanted to cuddle.

And then all of a sudden, she was gone. She was there, but she wasn't. Her eyes were just starring blankly at me, as if she couldn't even see me. After half a minute or so, she came back. But she kept on doing it, again and again.

She's already done this before. Once, a week and a half ago, after we were swimming, and we went up to the hospital. But by the time they saw her, it was over, and they put it down to dehydration.

This time, I wanted to see my GP. So a lovely lady drove us down to the Doctor's, and came in with us, while the other ladies stayed with Charlie and the other children. This time, they took it seriously, and the nurse saw what we had seen.

By the time our Doctor came in, Georgie had stopped. But she listened too, and sent us up to the hospital in an ambulance.

Georgie and I spent a while at the hospital, she was admitted, and then by the grace of God we managed to see the pediatrician. He only comes to our regional hospital twice a month, but he was there today, and he came and saw us after his day was finished.

It looks like she may have been either having absence seizures, or maybe some kind of episode that is similar to when babies hold their breath. We will go to the city as soon as we can to get an EEG test done. She also has a UTI.

Today has been.... overwhelming.

It sucks that Shane is away in Perth this week, I know how hard it is for him that he isn't here. It sucks that we have to go away for further tests, and it sucks that my baby is not okay.

But...

God has seen us through this hard time. I am so grateful that I had such lovely friends that I could leave my boy with at the drop of the hat. I am so grateful that I have such a great extended family that helped us out any way they could. I am so grateful that the right Doctors and Nurses were on duty today. I am so grateful that my boy was such a champion while we were gone all afternoon. I am so grateful that we were allowed to go home tonight. And I am beyond grateful that my baby girl is currently lying safe and secure in her bed.

We'll just wait and see what tomorrow brings. But I know God will continue to see us through each and every tomorrow, just as he has done today. So right now I am not going to do any Dr Googling, but instead am going to try and get some sleep, and wait and see what tomorrow will bring.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34



Monday, July 23, 2012

I have a two year old, how did that happen?


In the past couple of weeks. This little girl has had her birthday.



I find it a bit hard to believe that I have a big two year old! It seems like all of a sudden, Georgie has stopped being anything that resembles a baby and is a real little girl.

She is such a cheeky little thing.


She is such a beautiful girl. She is getting quite chatty now, and has very definite ideas. She is incredibly stubborn, and so determined! She is a very independent little girl as well, and I often have to watch her closely, because her ideas and her capabilities don't always line up!

She adores her Father, I often joke that Shane must feel a little like a rockstar with the way she idolizes him. Especially at church on Sundays. He regularly plays the drums at church during worship, and when Georgie knows that the music is finished and her Dad is going to come sit with her, the whole congregation often has a chuckle at a little girl's excited shouts of "Daddy! Daddy!"


She also loves her brother. She constantly cuddles and 'mothers' him, and he just thinks she is wonderful. I know eventually there will be plenty of fighting, but right now, I love their relationship. I do have to watch her pretty closely though, because sometimes she can get a bit carried away!




She had a reasonably quiet birthday. We had a party, but it was a small-(ish) family affair. I was quite proud of the cake. It was a fluffy white chocolate mud cake, and I had a definite 'feel like a parent moment' while putting it together with Shane the night before her birthday!


Georgie couldn't quite grasp what all the fuss was about, but she had a great birthday!



I am so glad for the day, two years ago, when we had little Georgina Shirley. It has been hard work, but she has filled our lives with so much joy.


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