And I was angry! Boy, was I angry! I said some incredibly not nice words (and later was grateful that Georgie can't talk yet). But the venom, the rage inside me was kind of insane. I went around the corner and parked, and the whole time I was fuming! "Sure, make the pregnant lady carrying her child walk further, it's not like my baby is tired and needs to be in bed for her nap or anything!" As I walked past her car I wanted to kick it, or at the very least leave one of these:
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| Image found here- :) |
As I walked into the shop I was kind of looking out for her, hoping I would be able to trip her, or abuse her, or give her a good Glare you know? But (probably fortunately) I didn't see her, and her car was gone when I walked out of the store.
As I was walking back to my car I got to thinking. Where did that come from? Was I really just that angry over a parking space? I mean seriously... it was just a parking spot. I had to walk an extra 20 meters and I'm ready to do bodily harm to a person?
Maybe she didn't realise I was going to park there, she might have thought I was double parked, or dropping someone off, maybe she was having a really bad day, maybe she genuinely didn't see me, or maybe she was a horrible person. But it doesn't really make a difference. By harboring all that anger and hate towards her, I didn't hurt her. And she didn't need my anger anyway. But I don't think I did myself any favours.
It just really surprised me you know? I mean I know I lose my temper sometimes. But I thought it was something that I was getting better at. I certainly didn't expect to lose my shiz over a parking space. I think maybe I understand a bit more how people can just snap at little things. Especially if they were super stressed to begin with. It's scary. And it's definitely something I'm going to try to work on. But because of it I know that I'm a little more humble, a little more understanding and a little less self-righteous, that's for sure.
Oooo, I've been there. What gets my back up is the injustice of it. I know it's small in the scheme of things but we grow up with an sense of common courtesy and anyone who violates that gets my back up. But you are right about how to deal with these situations. There's no point staying angry at the "perpetrator of the injustice". They are often either oblivious or more sinisterly pleased at what they've done. But me staying angry or upset is really only hurting me. I've had to ask myself, why I should continue to let them, and/or the situation have power over me by harbouring the frustration. As hard as it is, letting go is the best, and the most empowering thing to do.
ReplyDeletep.s: I've just had to let go of rather strong feeling of frustration in writing this post which got lost the first time I tried to post it! I think I've gotten my message back but not quite the same as the original. Ce la vie.
That image is gold!
ReplyDeleteYeah, it is scary how quickly that boiling rage can come up and it's over the most random, little things. I try to remember that other people have shiz going on too... I know in times of grief I've been so consumed that I (probably shouldn't have been on the road) did really dumb things while driving... Other people gave me the finger. Then I felt really bad...
I agree with mixedgems - holding onto it is only hurting yourself but... a pack of those cards would go a long way!!
That has happened to me and I feel incredibly angry when it happens and then like you wondered where it came from.
ReplyDeleteI say go get those cards and then have a good laugh imagining that silly and inconsiderate woman's face.
I totally get you. I always wonder at these road rage type people.....so a guy cuts infront of you - big deal! there has been plenty of times (well maybe not plenty but a few hahaha) when I have accidently cut some one off...I didn't see them, they were in my blind spot, whatever. people need to chill out more. I came to visit from FYBF x
ReplyDeleteGet it, I soooo do. Visiting for the first time. Great blog. I'll be coming back for more.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are pregnant everything seems like a big deal - I remember similar moments when I was pregnant recently!
ReplyDeleteBut you are right in that your anger only makes you feel yuk!
(popped over from Yay for Home)
I seriously want some of those cards.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've been there, too. Only really since having children.
There's something about getting into a car that turns us into someone we're usually not! I have no explanation why, but I've been there plenty of times. xx
ReplyDeleteI think it is the feeling of not being 'seen'. I sort of think if people 'saw' me they wouldn't steal my parking spot. Also, it is always nice to check if you're not sure, instead of zooming in.
ReplyDeleteI tend to also fly off the handle at trivial things and then wonder why.... God's trying to teach me to "choose joy over anger".... not easy, but going to give it a go!
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