When I leave you at home by yourself to cook dinner and you experiment with Asian Cuisine..... please, please, please- leave the cabbage alone! (I came home to a husband who had eaten like over a quarter of a cabbage- raw, because he had discovered it tasted good with salt and pepper.) Next time- please give the cabbage a miss!
Also, it is always a good idea to read up about sauces before you just splash them all over a meal- hoisin sauce in Asian cooking is not the equivalent of BBQ sauce on your bacon!
P.S- I love you, but seriously, you're sleeping on the couch tonight.