Friday, July 22, 2011

When I am a Mum I will never...

Oh, how those words mock me now!

Not that I actually ever said them (I wasn't quite that stupid) but I thought them. Boy did I think them!

When I was going to be a Mum I was never going to:

Let my children eat junk food. It was going to be wholesome and nutritious all the way.
Let my children eat while roaming the house. It was to be the high chair or hungry.
Leave my children to cry in bed.
Use food as a distraction to keep my children quiet.
Be one of those mothers who let their child cry and cry in the supermarket while they ignored them. (I have since learned that the ignore method is actually not bad. Much better than the kill-them-now-method, at any rate.)

It wasn't just the things that I wasn't going to do either, I had many grandiose plans for my children's learning and development that were going to be put into practice too.

We were going to read stories ever day.
We were going to do craft and paint activities often (at last count, Georgie has painted once)
We were not going to watch any television until the child was at least 3. (Baby Einstein doesn't count though, right?)
I was going to watch my child closely, and never let her eat anything gross. (Ha!)

Turns out my theories were great, but they were just that. Theories. And, pre-baby Robyn, had never met her children. Or lived post-baby Robyn's life.

Now I know better. I know that one Sao can last for approximately one load of hanging out washing, or one blog post.  I know that leaving Georgie to cry is not going to hurt her, but I might sometimes if I don't go and take five minutes to breathe. I know that there are so many, many things that are just not worth stressing over.

I'm a lot less judgmental of other Mummies now. I mean, sure I can judge with the best of them- and I still do sometimes. But I'm learning that most of the time, when there's a Mother hanging onto a crying child with one hand, and losing her shiz while trying frantically to pick up the toys that the child has just broken with the other- that maybe she's just having a bad day. It does not necessarily mean that she is a bad Mother. And some days, we just all need a break.


  1. oh we were all perfect parents before we added children to the mix weren't we? I think you will like my post today too... I never thought I would feed my kids mcdonalds.. oh dear.
    I also had a thing against dummies and formula. I thought being a stay at home mum was lazy or something only rich people did. hahahahaha. And I would never yell at my children, never.

  2. Spot on Robyn! When my Mothers Group first formed our mantra became "you do what works" - even if it wasn't in the pre-baby plans!

  3. Love it! I was full of I will nevers before baby too. Yeah right, have a dummy, for me its less stressful than having to rock a heavy toddler to sleep.
    I choose the happy way rather than the 'right' way :)
    Found you via FYBF x

  4. Before I was a mum I was never going to let my kids be seen in public with snotty noses . . .

  5. I have a short list of theories of my own, but am yet to put them to the test. I do have a question though - often while walking down the street completely unecumbered myself, I see mums of young kids in the street, having a hard time because the kids are being, well, kids. Is it rude to offer a helping hand - you know, to just hold something or watch one of them while she gets her wallet or a dummy or something out of her bag, or fixes one the kids' shoes/runny nose/hat etc, or would that send the wrong message?

  6. Emma- Personally- I think no! For me, it's always nice when people ask if you need a hand, but I have seen other Mum's snap at people sometimes when they offer- maybe because they're stressed and feel like they're being judged? But I think if you do it in a friendly manner then by all means help away! :)

  7. Oh I was the Perfect Parent prebaby! But we are all one shade or another of clueless in the days before our bubbas.

    I was never going to use the tv as a babysitter (and no, Baby Einstein does not count!) I was never going to let her leave the house with a snotty nose, and I was going to breast feed until she weaned herself off the boob.
    And the biggest one, she was going to fit in with my life, I wasn't going to revolve my life around hers *scoffs at own sheer stupidity!*

    And to Emma, as long as I can tell that you are being genuinely helpful and not a snotty judgemental cow (cos trust me, I can tell!), I'm always grateful for help when I'm in public and struggling with something!

  8. Oh Robyn, this is so true! All the things I thought I would and wouldn't do. Ha! And the times I saw children screaming in public and thought, "my children will never do that." Karma is a bitch, hey? xo

  9. So glad to know that I'm not alone in my lack of follow-through! :)

  10. I have no idea what you're talking about because I'm the perfect parent. Now excuse me while I go find out where my child is, haven't heard him in a while...

  11. Yes, it's all so familiar! I was going to use cloth nappies and make sure they were toilet trained as early as I can get them to be. I was going to not let them watch tv and spend every waking hour with them...going to this and that...but reality struck or rather, the kids became a reality and everything just got dumped to where reality wasn't around. :)

  12. I think almost every prospective mother has that rude awakening once they actually become a mother. In the end, I think it is all a work in progress and you shift the rules, change the rules and make up new ones as you go along. And what works for one child, may not for the other. And then they go and change and grow, and then everything shifts once more. Wait till the teen years! Shudder!

  13. Great post!!! I just checked if I was following you and can't believe I wasn't already!

  14. I was a good mother before I had kids, I love that book. So true!

  15. Thanks for the advice - will keep it in mind for the next time I'm at the Woolies car park or down the street :)

  16. We all had such high ideals...the practicalities are ver different though! I would not cope if i didn't have smarties and tv to fall back on!


Thanks for stopping by, I would so love to hear your thoughts!

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