Sunday, May 15, 2011

When your husband works away....

I am very fortunate. In the choice of partners I did very well. And I never notice it more than when he has to go away.

Right now Shane is working away for at least a week. Now, compared to most families who deal with working in the oil and gas industry, we are lucky. Shane does not work on a very strict roster, he does not have to camp away too much. He always tries to get home every night when he can. His parents are pretty good to us and always try to keep Shane around our area when they can. But right now all of the work is away- so for the next little while, he will be away. And it is hard.

I got spoiled you see. Much of the work he has been doing has been around our town. We have also had a lot of rain. So consequently, Shane has been around a great deal. Pretty much ever since Georgie was born, in fact. So now I am getting used to being alone again. But it is harder still with a baby. Every day I am used to waiting for the night. Waiting for another adult to come home to talk to and share the load with. (And he does share the load well) Now it's just me.

I get angry sometimes, at people with ordinary jobs. At women who complain and moan about their husbands always working, when they get to see them on the weekends and every night. I want a weekend dammit! But I know I need to be reminded that we all have our personal crosses to bear.

I never appreciate him more than when he goes away. Now I have to start the fire at night. I have to wait until Georgie goes to bed before I have my dinner because otherwise it is just too difficult. When Shane is home he will generally help out with bathing Georgie or feeding her or putting her to bed. He might get dinner started or cooked if I need him to. And it's even more than that. It's that person to smile at and talk to when there's something funny or interesting on television. It's that warm body to snuggle up to in bed, after I've had to get up in the middle of the night to a crying baby. It's someone to sigh to, when she won't go to sleep easily or when she wakes up when she should be asleep. It's someone to say "I'll go this time" occasionally. It's waking up to a warm house because he's started the fire when he wakes up early. It's just Shane.

He's mine, you know? He's the rest of me. I just miss him. And life just feels a little wrong when he's not around.

It's not that bad really. I need to make sure I don't let myself get too down. But it's also the fear. Just that tiny niggling fear, that people die. Some husbands don't come back from work occasionally. Especially in the transport industry. And who's to say that it won't be my husband one of these days?

So tomorrow I'll be okay. And even now it's really not that bad. At least I can call him and talk to him most of the time. He's not even that far away. And, most importantly, he doesn't want to be away. I know that whenever he has a choice, he always chooses us. He loves his family. I really did win with him. Don't get me wrong, he's no saint. Some days he drives me so crazy I could just hit him, (and do- ha! spoon) But he is pretty good. Besides, it's not even for that long. Hopefully (that's another post- the disorganisation and uncertainty that is the oil and gas industry) he will be home by next weekend.

But right now I just really miss my husband.

10 comments:

  1. On the bright side, at least you can talk to him at night? I have a friend whose husband travels quite often. She has made a game of picking projects to do that take about the same amount of time as her husband will be gone, and she says it helps make the time pass quicker - on one particular sewing project, she actually wished she had an extra day!

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  2. Yeah we can talk pretty much all the time (as long as he has phone signal). I am trying to keep myself busy! I have a big list of things I want to do this week- and will hopefully work on those things :)

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  3. Hugs hun, can't help much but at least you have a great marriage. That's saying something these days eh?

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  4. True! Thanks for saying that--- great sometimes, but requires a great lot of effort too!;)

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  5. Oh you know I feel your pain :( And don't get me started on phone dropouts!

    It can be so challenging flying solo when you're used to having a helpful partner around. I find the upside is how much more we appreciate our time together when he is at home.

    *hugs*

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  6. Hi, I just found this blog. I can relate. My hubby is not home during the week. (I have a weekend hubby). He also travels overseas too. I slowly building up to his big trip mid Dec (he better be home for Christmas) and then he goes again after Christmas through most of January. I have 7 children to look after. Rest assured, you are in my prayers too. God bless.

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  7. Hi! Lovely to find you. I can understand everything you are saying. My husband works away throughout the year to a total over just over six months. With two girls and just me it can get hard sometimes but the times home we get to do lots of things we normally wouldn't do.

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  8. Thanks for sharing, my hubby works away a lot too. It can be tough sometimes. We have no family around.I am so busy most of the time, blogging about food allergies (my son has many) and running the admin side of his business and trying to keep house, attend the kids sport and social activities. SOmetimes, I want to call in sick - haha.
    Its a balance and your right soemtimes i blog to escape.
    God is my strength, most people dont understand that, but i couldnt do what I do without Him.

    God Bless you :0

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  9. I am glad I am not he only one. I am 23 mother of four kids and my oldest is 5 and my husband works in the oil field 3 weeks at a time or longer and it's so hard on me and my kids I kinda get down and my kids start fighting and whining and by the time he gets home I am at the end of three weeks I am wore out from cleaning cooking and running kids to school. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have are single and have no children so don't understand. I really have to rely on God to get me through the day without having a melt down.

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  10. My Boyfriend of a year works away for 6-8 weeks at a time. I can handle it most of the time. Sometimes it's the longest day. Especially when he is home for a month the poof, gone again. He is a man of the sea. I work in a demanding industry aswel. As i am a refrigeration and airconditioning mechanic, With long hours and no real down time (especially in summer). When he is away. I work myself into the ground because I don't have many friends and the exhaustion takes my mind off him not being around. In this small mining town I have been in for a year and a half. I understand how hard it is when they are away. Sometimes I can not talk to my partner for two or three weeks at a time (due to no reception). I feel like even though i am busy part of me is sitting and waiting for a call. Then to condense everything of two weeks into a 5 minute conversation on a sat phone. I hate cyclone season. I have nightmares about all the risks. He has night mares I'll fall asleep while driving. One would think I would ask him to stop but he loves his job and I love mine. He is the part of me that was always missing untill I found him and its worth it. We never fight about money or anything really.

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Thanks for stopping by, I would so love to hear your thoughts!

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