Thursday, September 15, 2011

Things I'd tell myself....

I was thinking the other day of some of the things I would tell pre-baby Robyn. I'm sure most Mums out there have one of these lists, but here's mine:

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1. Enjoy the fact that you are a high priority. Relish the fact that you can be a bit selfish. When you have children, your needs are always going to come second (or third, or fourth), whether it's your need for sleep, for space, for a toilet... whatever. You are always going to have to come after the little Emperor (or Empress) who is about to enter your home. You may think that there will still be some time for you, and there will,  but I promise, even when you have time to yourself, it is never the same as it was pre-baby. It is a fact.

2. Buy stuff now. Your husband wants a fancy bass guitar? Let him buy it. Or a new computer? Yes. You want a good vacuum cleaner? Get it. Because you will not be able to afford these things easily after you have children, they will just not be a priority. But make sure you buy important stuff. You will really be grateful for things like a good washing machine, fridge, freezer, vacuum cleaner, dryer, air conditioners in bedrooms etc. On the other hand, things like nice couches and carpets and rugs are not as necessary as you think. You buy nice, expensive stuff like that? And your baby will vomit on it.

3. Continuing on from number 2. Money is not as tight as it will be post baby. Things are much easier to afford when you have two incomes. But at the same time, try to learn how to live on one income before the baby arrives, and then you will not spend the first year of your baby's life slowly learning how to manage on less while interest creeps up the balance on the credit card, having to use your end-of-financial year tax bonuses paying off said credit card. Then you will put the credit card away, and while it will feel very nice to have no money on the credit card and lower the limit right down and know you will never get back up there again... it would have been even nicer to have been able to spend that bonus money on things like clothes or shoes or vacuum cleaners.

4.  Do important stuff now. Wills are important but expensive. Things like health insurance and life insurance can be expensive but they can also be very important if you can make the budget stretch that far. Organize yourself as best you can before the baby is arrives because it will be the last thing you will want to do once they are born. Take care of yourself too. This is extremely important. Chances are those few extra kilograms will become a lot more than a few once you add pregnancy weight gain, tiredness and lack of time to exercise your life. Be as healthy as you can now so you can bounce better afterwards.

5. Enjoy your husband. Get to know each other well and build a good relationship now. Develop a sense of humour and the ridiculous. Because when you have a screaming infant and are both at a loss and are feeling distinctly un-funny and unhappy, sometimes his bad jokes and laughter and love and the good memories of time you spent will keep you from stabbing him with a pen.

But finally, despite all this....

Don't wait. Don't hold back for the perfect time. There is rarely a perfect time for children, because children are not perfect. They are messy and difficult and as much as you would like them to be little dolls or robots that do exactly as you want, they aren't. They are tiny humans who are wonderful and frustrating and amazing. And you will love them more than you thought possible.

Linking up with Shae at Yay For Home for Things I know.

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12 comments:

  1. I wish i new all these things before my babies came along it would have made those first few years so much easier. :)

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  2. Great points, definitely buy stuff you want before hand! That one resonates with me, although not sure i had much money before I had a baby either LOL

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  3. Great post robyn - these are the things no one tells you until it's too late (ie- you're already up the duff!) Loving the cartoon too - it looks exactly how I felt this morning!

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  4. Ah yes, perfect advice. I hope someone pre baby reads it and takes you up on it.

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  5. Robyn, this is perfect! Absolutely true! We bought couches before our first son was born and they are now revolting. I wish I'd savoured time pre-children more, then savoured time with just the one before the second was born but I guess when you haven't had kids you just don't know.

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  6. I read this post just this morning, glad you linked it in to FYB.... It is a good one. I wish I had read this before I had children. Having said that, our first child was conceived after an 18 month working holiday overseas. I have no regrets about that all. In fact, it was the making of B.

    I will surely be forwarding this on to my sister in law who is desperate to have her first baby. It would be good for her to get some perspective. Great job.

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  7. You have absolutely, most perfectly summed it all up. Loving point 5 - especially the pen stabbing part!

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  8. So true-there is never a "perfect" time xoxo

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  9. If I really sat down and thought of all the things I'd tell my pre-baby self.. I might cry. You're right on so many levels!

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  10. Lovely list!! Love the first few - they are very true and one of the things I do miss somedays!

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  11. As a mum to be, I find this advice quite timely! Thanks for sharing Robyn. :-)

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Thanks for stopping by, I would so love to hear your thoughts!

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