Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Why I don't believe in same sex marriage

I have something to say. It's hard to write. Because I know it is most definitely not going to be popular, and may cause me ridicule and unhappiness. But I can't help that. It's an issue that I have seen many bloggers write about recently, and while I admire and respect many of those who support gay marriage, I can't agree with them on that issue. I know I need to stay true to my convictions.

I do not support same sex marriage.

I can't. I believe that marriage was created by God, for one man, and one woman. [Truth]

Let me ask you a question. Say you had a really, really beautiful vase that meant a lot to you. Imagine it was an amazingly expensive beautiful vase that was worth so much money, and it had been in your family for generations. This vase is so precious that your Great Grandfather smuggled it out of Warsaw during World War Two. It's a vase that means so much to you, and your family. It's a vase, and so much more. It's a symbol for you that helps remind your family to stay strong and together.

But your family had no respect for it. And every now and then they would run past it, and hit it, and kick it and scratch it. Eventually it became damaged, and ugly, and it's beauty was ravaged and it barely even resembled the old Vase that was once so precious..... Would you care? And would you say, "Oh well, they have already wrecked it, we may as well give it to the kids to break, and maybe they can use it in a collage or something"?

I wouldn't.

Here's the thing. That's kind of like what marriage is to me. It is something amazingly precious that God created specifically for a man and a woman. For life. It is a precious thing that has so much more power and significance than we understand. It provides protection for our children, and for all of us. Whether we acknowledge it or not. Over time, humans have allowed the institution of marriage to crumble and we've treated it like garbage, and that's not something that's happened recently either.

But it is not destroyed. I believe that when two adults are joined together the way God intended, it is a truly powerful, wonderful thing. It's not perfect, because we're all human. But it is still something pretty amazing. And the legalization of gay marriage, or polygamous marriage, or any other form of marriage not ordained by God will not diminish that.

But I do believe that a blessing comes from God upon a nation when that nation aligns itself with His ways and purposes. One man, one woman, together with God is the ideal. [a cord of three strands] It's what was intended. And I am going to do what I can, to help uphold marriage in it's pure, unadulterated, God-created form for as long as possible. I understand that it's broken... but I'm still just not willing to throw that vase away.

I have nothing against gay people. But I believe that homosexuality is a sin. The same way I believe that my lying, and selfishness, and laziness is sinful. I don't condemn  people for homosexuality. The way I feel about homosexual people is exactly the same as the way I feel about  those who are heterosexual. But that doesn't mean that I can support homosexuality because I believe it is a sin.

In a way I can understand. Because if you didn't have a reason (faith in God) to believe homosexuality was a sin, then you wouldn't see a problem. But I do. And so I can respect other people because I understand that they are not coming from the same place I am. [All have sinned and fallen short of the grace of God, but by his stripes we are made free] They don't have my reasons for opposing same sex marriage. But I am still going to oppose it. Because I can't agree with it, I believe we were created for more, and I believe that there is a blessing upon my nation while marriage is still kept as close to God's ideal as possible.

Marriage isn't a human right. It is a sacred bond that was created by God, with God, between a man and a woman. I'm all for allowing gay people the same human rights as married people. I do not believe that a gay person is a second class citizen. And I also believe that a homosexual person can love and feel just as deeply as a a heterosexual person.

But I just don't believe that we were intended to be with people of the same sex. And so I cannot condone same sex marriage.

I don't expect you to agree with me, but I do think it's important that people can understand that many Christians are not prejudiced, ignorant, or crazy. Some are, yes, but so are some non-christian people. We are not necessarily that different. But many of us just have a devout faith in God, that makes us do our best to uphold his righteous ways. We don't always succeed in that because we are human, but we are saved by the grace of Jesus, and we honour God the best way we can. And this is how I try to do it.

Linking up with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for I blog on Tuesdays.

Julie from The Useful box also wrote a brilliant post regarding this issue, God's marriage ideal.

I understand that many people will have views that are different to mine on this topic and take no issue with comments that disagree with me. If however, those comments are abusive or derogatory, they will be removed. I will also not be replying to comments on this post, as I believe I have stated my case, and I don't believe that arguing will help change opinions. I also don't want the comments section of this post to end up in a mud-slinging debate. I don't have all the answers, but this is some of what I believe, and why.


  1. I respect that you have a faith and I sincerely hope you are not ridiculed but I feel it's important to note that Australia is a secular country and marriage and religion are not the same thing.

  2. You are so brave and inspirational! Good on you for outlying your convictions! Wow... well said. Expect some contempt though my friend... this is one hot topic! I will keenly check out the comments that get written here.

  3. I've found it very difficult to comment and have deleted several attempts. You're entitled to your opinion and you've argued your case.
    I couldn't disagree more. I don't believe in god - but I do believe in marriage. For me marriage is about love and commitment - it has nothing to do with religion. If two people love each other then they should be entitled to marry.

  4. You're braver than me, that's for sure. This is one issue I avoid because our view is NOT popular at all. Civil rights, sure, but not marriage.

  5. I understand where you are coming from, I was raised catholic. I respect that you hold so strongly to your faith. One of the reasons I left the church was because I don't agree with many "beliefs" of the church.

    I do not believe marriage is just for a man and a woman. Marriage for two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

    Homosexuality is not a sin. Sins are choices people make. Homosexuality is not a choice, no more than you being heterosexual is. When did you CHOOSE to be heterosexual? If there is a God, and he created humans in his image, then he didn't just create heterosexual people in his image, but ALL people.

    I respect your right to your opinion, I just can't agree with it.

  6. I can't agree with you, but I respect your right to have a differing opinion.

    However, I feel it is important to state that marriage in Australia is a secular institution. Yes, some people are married in a church and have Christ as their third strand, but many people of varying religions, including atheists, are married without the input of the Christian church. Their marriages are no less legal or binding under our laws, and as you stated, their love is no less real.

    I also take exception to the idea, from your vase analogy, that we should only consider giving marriage rights to homosexuals because we have broken them so badly ourselves - I don't consider the institution of marriage damaged, but most importantly I don't think homosexuals should be considered second class citizens, who should be content and grateful for our damaged goods.

    Additionally, although you consider homosexuality a sin, and therefore feel that supporting gay marriage would be supporting sin, what about Buddists (for example)? They willfully worship a god other than yours, and are therefore sinners. But yet they are allow to marry under Australian law. Would you revoke their rights to marry too?

    I commend your bravery in airing your views!

  7. I agree with the right to comment, and that you have the right to determine comments as appropriate or not. Good for you.
    I was drawn to the post because of its title, and I wanted to read something that indicated a well-reasoned and full view.
    It is your view, and I commend you, as have others, for your personal convictions aired in a public space. Thank you for sharing here, and as part of IBOT
    From Denyse at #TeamIbot.

  8. A very brave post Robyn. You've outlined it so well, and your love for people despite their differences comes through.
    Also, love the analogy of the vase. Particularly when you extend it further to the Bride of Christ.

  9. Well done you on sharing how you feel, that is awesome on so many levels. I thought you raised some really interesting arguments and found the whole post very thought provoking.

  10. Whilst I have a different opinion to you Robyn on this subject I think you handled this sensitive issue brilliantly. This is your blog and your right to express yourself and I think you did that hun whilst being very respectful to those who dont share the same opinion x

  11. It is such a difficult topic but I agree that marriage is from God and should be between a man and a woman. I am glad other comments have been respectful of your views and you have been respectful in your post.

  12. Good on you for writing what you believe, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I believe if two people are happy and want to spend the rest of their lives together - be that man and woman or same sex couples, who are we to stop them.

  13. Good on you for being able to share your thoughts. I have been raised in a Christian family and my father was a Baptist Minister. I was brought up to believe what you do too.

  14. You are certainly entitled to your opinion and I think you are very brave to write it down and to explain it. I'm Christian and I also practice (pray, go to church). However, I don't think homosexuality is a sin. I believe you born homosexual or heterosexual. And I'm convinced God love all his children especially if he created them this way.

  15. I'm a Christian too, but I have to admit this is one topic that has me beat. I'm really not sure what I believe. So it's not something I speak out about as I don't really have an opinion to share (yet). The gay lifestyle / gay marriage is not for me, but at the same time I don't feel I can tell others what to do.

    I'm not completely wishy washy - for example, I am pro-life and anti-abortion. But having said that, I know quite a few people who have had abortions for various reasons and it doesn't mean I love them any less. In fact I really feel for them because I KNOW that they carry the burden of what they have done, for the rest of their lives.

    But gay marriage? I just dunno. Heterosexuals don't seem to be that great at it either, to be honest! I'm kinda leaning towards the view that a person who is able to have a loving, committed relationship (whether it's with the same or opposite sex) is in a far better position that someone who can't. But do I take that as far as marriage? Again, I just don't know.

    Thanks for raising the topic, taking a stand politely and bravely, and making slackos like me think!!!!

  16. On you Robyn! Not an easy conversation and one most people avoid. I would like to say that there are a lot of misconceptions about homosexuality. Many people believe that you are born - others that it is a choice. I get cranky when people say that marriage isn't a religious institution but a civil one. Where do they think it came from in the first place? Marriage is precious. If it wasn't those who were aethiest and gay wouldn't want it. If it is so precious isn't it also worth defending?

  17. I can only start this by saying that you are very brave for extending a controversial opinion so openly. I should also say that I am an American, an atheist, and heterosexual.

    I believe that adult humans should have the right to marry whoever they darn well please. I also think that what you are talking about as marriage, and what I think everyone should have a right to are different. Everyone should be entitled to a marriage. Now I'm not saying they should do the whole church ritual, but that they should have the right to have their long term relationships recognized by the government, for all its legal and social benefits. If they are religious and have a wish to marry in a church, and their church will do it, then that is also their right.

    Maybe we should've had a different term for the legal status, but there isn't one that carries the same weight and social significance. And that's the unfortunate reality.

    I've been raised to live by the mantra live and let live. I don't think marriage is ruined by loving people getting married. It's ruined by the people ending them left and right. And most of those people are straight. Just saying. I can't change your opinion. I've tried arguing with some VERY stubborn people before, and I get that it just doesn't work. But I can try.

    My hope is that my children are born and raised in a world where people can do whatever they want, provided they're not harming anyone and everyone involved is consenting, without fear of being attacked for those actions, and being denied their full legal, social, and sometimes, yes, spiritual rights as human beings. Thank you for taking the time to read this, even if it doesn't accomplish what I wanted it to.

  18. Hi Robyn, Well said (and thanks for the link). Sorry I didn't get to see and comment earlier. We were on holidays last week. You already know I agree with you. Thanks for being brave enough to also write about your/ our unpopular view!

  19. Good on you, Robyn, for writing this post. And well done those who've disagreed but done it respectfully. It's not always the case.

    I just wanted to point out that marriage is not about love (shock!!) and two people committing to each other. The primary purpose of marriage is procreation. Those couples who are elderly or infertile are the exception to the princple that marriage is about a man and a woman taking responsibility for each other and the children they procreate through their union.

    No one here has mentioned a very important fact: children raised with their biological mum and dad do far better in all aspects of life than those who are not. A very important study has come out confirming this obvious fact recently!

    SSM denies a child to their right to have a there-every-day mum and dad. I find it odd that everyone is banging on about the rights of two adults to marry but no one thinks about the right a child should have to know their mum and dad and have an intimate and close connection with them.

    Sure, it's not always possible (death of a parent is one example), but to legislate to allow couples to 'order' a child like one does a car reduces children - the first to suffer with things like SSM, abortion, no-fault divorce, etc - to nothing more than a commodity. And that is completely wrong and why I do not support SSM.

    Those who say marriage is secular have missed the point - God created men and women to procreate. We complement each other. Christians are standing up against SSM because we care about the forgotten ones in this furious debate: innocent children who are having their rights stripped away for the sake of adults who just want to 'be married'.

    If marriage were just about love, then by all rights, I should be able to marry my cat, really. I mean, I love him so much! We just want to be together and have a chance to legally and publicly declare our love and commitment to each other. No one should discriminate against the bond we share! :)

    This is what those of us who believe that marriage is for one man and one woman don't agree with about SSM: it takes the concept of marriage and cheapens it to mean almost anything - marrying a warehouse, marrying Bill and Betty (polyamory), marrying Sarah and her sister Susie (polygamy), marrying your dog.......it's a very slippery slope - the effects of which are being felt in some US states where SSM has been made legal.

    I could go on for ages, but I just wanted to touch on those few points which have been raised by people here.

    Thanks again, Robyn. A well-written post!

  20. And how do you feel about Divorce?

    Isn't it better a child be in a loving home with two parents?

    And no one is asking you to get "gay married" All people who want SSM are asking for is the right to live their lives. No one wants to tell you who to marry. Why do you get the right to tell others?

  21. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


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