It broke my heart. And just made me so incredibly sad.
I love my church. I grew up here. It's my home. It's my family.
I watch my little girl dance around in church, and I know that it is one of her safe places, I see her get excited when she knows we are going to church and it makes my heart happy.
But, the thing about church, is that it is made up of people. God's people, yes. But people all the same. And people can be really stupid sometimes. People can be wrong.
Faith is between man and God. Religion is man's version (and at times, mess) of it.
There are many, many things I love about my church. But there are some things I don't.
However, it is the place I have chosen to call home, and put down my roots. At some point, I think you either need to make a decision to be in, or out. You can dance around the edges of it all, but that can sometimes just be a different kind of superiority really. And a coal that isn't in the fire may die. My church is my fire. I have made a decision and I will do my best to stick with it. I am not completely and wholly loyal to it, the way I am to God. If I had big, unresolvable problems with our practices or ideas I might have to find a new home. But right now it is mine.
I don't agree with every little thing that we do. But the thing is, it's we.... I am the church. The church hurts people, it does things wrong sometimes. I have been hurt and disillusioned by people in the church. But I am people in the church. I have hurt people too.
We make a big deal out of things we shouldn't. We place importance on things that are not important, and we ignore the things that matter.
What happened to Eden.... it was wrong. It shouldn't have happened. I am sure that it made God sad. And unfortunately, she isn't alone. There are people I know that have been hurt. There are things I watch us do, things that I do, that I am not 100% happy about. I worry that we are not the church God wants us to be.
But I am just trying to be the best church that I can.