Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I just don't love you enough

Shane and I were talking today, and he mentioned how a work colleague of his is separating from her husband. We discussed how sad it was, (as you do) and then I started talking about how it amazes me that anyone can stay married, if they don't have God's help.

Now I wasn't saying it in a judgmental holier-than-thou way. But really, I just know I couldn't do it. When I was trying to explain what I meant to Shane, I said "I just don't love you enough."

There was a bit of a stunned silence, (whoops, did I just say that? It just popped out!) then we burst into laughter. But after we'd calmed down, I explained what I meant.

I love him, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I could quite happily be done, you know? I know there are things that we do, problems within our marriage, that would make other people walk away. The  idea of freedom is very appealing at times (the grass is always greener and all that). I have reasons (and he does too!) that would justify an exit from our relationship, in the eyes of the world.

However, because we love God, and our relationship has been woven using a cord of three strands, God's love helps to hold our relationship firm, when our love falters. He helps me to forgive, to hold my tongue when I so badly want to use it to wound. His grace and love is more than enough for us. It's not easy, sometimes marriage is crap, to be honest. But with God, I am committed to Shane. When my love isn't enough, His is.

I have no doubt that there will still be many, many obstacles to face. But I pray and trust that with God's help, we can see them through. Without God's help though? I have no idea how I would stay married, and I have no idea how other people manage it, so hats off to them.

Also, I'm pretty sure Shane's going to make me pay for that comment one day!

6 comments:

  1. It's so true that staying together is not easy at all, and couples really do need to have more than just each other, shared interests are great. Kids are very bonding, though can also tear you apart. Anyway, the main thing is to work out what works and work that.

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  2. I know what you mean about greener grass, reasons to walk away, the idea of freedom. It's refreshing to hear someone else say it, as I often feel I/we are the only ones who struggle, though rationally I know that's not true. For us, it isn't God though, I'm not sure what it is. I think it's knowing that the grass ISN'T greener, that we are all human, that we will have ebbs and tides, highs and lows, and it's sticking through the lows, celebrating the highs, and having some humility and forgiveness that gets us through. x Aroha

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  3. Your post is certainly food for thought, sometimes we all need a 3rd thread to hold our marriage together in this challenging world. I take my hat off to any couple that stays together, congratulations to you.

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  5. An interesting read. I don't always turn to God in difficult times but I am fortunate to have a hubby who communicates very well.

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