We have decided to try to stop letting our feelings and our difficulties and our emotions and our circumstances dictate our life, and we are trying to make space for the things we believe in.
It is hard.
We are stepping up, and we are trying to make our lives work around our faith instead of the other way around. Shane is planning to go on a missions trip in another month, and we are taking on a new role in our church. Sometimes it feels like it's really no big deal, but at other times it is scary as hell. I don't think that I am qualified for it. I am terrified of us doing it badly, but I am excited.
I don't want to just exist, you know? I don't want to just survive parenting and marriage and life. I want to thrive and I want to grow and I want to be what I was created to be.
I have no idea if this is going to be good. I have no idea if this is right. But I am determined to do my best and make my time here on earth matter. I know the truth. I need to do something with my knowledge.