Friday, February 1, 2013

When it's just not enough

Don't give up. Don't quit. Keep going.

If you have more bad days than good. If things are too hard. If you cannot cope with the demands of your family. If you find yourself so frustrated and angry that you literally have to lock yourself away from your children because you are frightened you will hurt them. If you just want to cease to exist. If you can barely get through the day.

It is not okay. It is not acceptable.  And it is not supposed to be this way.

If you were in pain, if you hurt yourself physically and had to live life with your pain consistently at an 8, or a 9, or a 10, it would not be okay. There would be surgery, and pain medication, and a plan to heal. Your emotional and spiritual pain should not be any different. Sure sometimes we do struggle and have bad days, pain is a part of life. Life is pain, highness, anyone who says otherwise is selling something. But it should not be your life.

I kind of can't believe I am writing this post. Because I have read so many things that all say the same thing. But a couple of my experiences this week lead me to believe that it needs to be written. Still we struggle. Obviously we just don't say it enough. If this helps one person, it is worth it.

 Don't give up. Don't quit. Keep going.

There is still a stigma. "Oh I didn't think you would be that type of person" (What person, the type with horns and blue skin?) "She just needs to focus on the positives" (She's trying) "He just needs to organize himself better." (No, he is not coping, and he needs help.)

It's easy to fill out the questionnaires you get at the Dr's office, and lie just well enough, so that it doesn't look too obvious, but so that you never really tell the truth. But you know who loses in the end in that scenario? You.

 Don't give up. Don't quit. Keep going.

I'm not saying you need to spill out your pain and anguish to every person that you meet. Fake it till you make it can be extremely helpful sometimes. Sometimes you don't want to let every single person who wants in, into your own personal business. And that's okay. But you need to talk to somebody. You need to let someone see you without the mask. You cannot do this alone. You were never supposed to.

People are never going to get it right all of the time. They will never be able to fix everything. But you've got to give them the chance to try. People can't help you if they don't know that you need help. God puts people into our lives for a reason. He is trying to help. But you need to let them. Let Him in.

See your doctor. See your pastor. Talk to somebody about how you are feeling. Maybe you need antidepressants, maybe you don't. Maybe it would help to talk to someone that isn't going to be hurt by the words you need to speak. Maybe they can help you develop strategies so that you can better cope with the problems you have in your life. And yes, maybe the first person you talk to will be less than helpful. But find someone else. Try again.

Don't give up. Don't quit. Keep going.

You are not supposed to feel this way. Don't buy into the lie that this is what you deserve. Don't believe that this is all there is. He has so much more for you, than you have for yourself.

We were created to feel deeply. To feel sad sometimes is normal. But it is not normal to dwell in a place of sadness forever. The story doesn't have to go this way. It is your story. You are not responsible for what happens to you, but you are responsible for the way you deal with it.

Don't give up.

Don't quit.

Keep going.

Linking up with Grace today.


  1. Beautiful post and written in such a lovely way. It's such an important message xx

  2. Very true. You do have to keep going. I found though that aiming for "getting by" got me further than aiming for "being happy". Happiness came, gradually, but I am fine now with being OK, and don't often feel miserable any more. Lovely post.

  3. So, so true. We don't realise just how many of us actually need to talk to someone. Whether it's someone close or just a third party. It certainly takes a load off.

  4. Beautifully said Robyn. It's so sad that that it still needs to be said, but good on you for saying it

  5. What a great post - and one that probably needs to be repeated a few times so everyone who needs to get this message will get it.
    I have been having hormonal/menopause issues and my dr was not giving me the answers that were helpful. Friends at work convinced me to go and see a dr who specialised in menopause - what a difference she has made - after just one visit - because when I was talking to her, I knew that she 'got' me and she understood exactly what I was saying and what I was experiencing.
    Have the best weekend and thanks again for a really relevant post !
    #FYBF visitor

  6. Great post, I think everybody needs to read this at some point in your life. If you need help, get it - no matter what help that is. Life isn't meant to be that hard. Beautiful message.

  7. Lovely post, and very true. It can lighten the load just to talk.

  8. Ah, I needed to see this post. Thank you...

  9. Very important post and yes one foot in front of the other , one step at a time.
    I just saw a poster today that adds I may not be there yet but I am closer than yesterday.


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