Okay. So. I’m not really sure how to write this... I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to say. But lately I’ve been feeling- convicted, for want of a better word.
I am a Christian. And I don’t just believe that God is real and Jesus is his son and He died on the cross. I know it. To me, this is not a belief like children believe in Santa or the tooth fairy. It is a truth. Like the fact that the earth is round. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God like I believe that there is air around me right now keeping me alive. I don’t understand it. But I know that it’s true.
And recently I’ve really been thinking an awful lot about the people who don’t know this. And where they’re going. It all started when I heard a quote by an atheist... I don’t remember it that well, I don't know who said it and I can’t find it on the internet, but basically it goes like this.
If Christians really believed in God, and believed that the bible is true. Then they would have to believe in the hell of the bible. And if Christians really believed that....wouldn’t they do everything in their power to save those around them? Therefore, there can be no God.
And, boy, doesn’t that just hit you where it hurts? Because it’s true. Really, if I believe that people I know are going to hell.... (and it follows that I must, if I believe in the infallibility of the bible) how can I just sit back and do nothing?
So this is it. It’s not much, but it’s my start.
I’m not very good at talking to people. I don’t know why it is, but you always seem to have more trouble talking to people about things that matter than things that don’t. (Or I do anyway). So yeah, I thought. 'I'll make my blog a testimony of my faith. I'll talk about life, but I'll make sure that anyone who reads this knows what I believe.' But now it feels like I've got to do more. Do the people I know, who I talk to on a regular basis, some of whom I call family, really know how strong my belief is? Have I ever really told them about Jesus?
So today I shared one of my blog posts on facebook. (Hi Guys!) And boy, it was hard! Now I can't write about everything. I can't write my exact feelings about church on Sunday, or how I really feel about my husband on some days. Because someone who actually knows me might read it. Blogging was much easier when it was anonymous. But it wasn't really very brave either.
But the thing is.... I really really love Jesus. He is so much a part of me. And honestly, at the moment, my life is very easy. I know I complain a heck of a lot about it- but it's pretty uncomplicated. I mean, I have the day-to-day-living hardness. But, most of the people I spend my time with are Christian. Many of the things I do are selfish. My worries are nothing when compared to so many other people's worries. And.... people are going to hell.
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, or if somebody I loved and knew was not Christian was probably going to die tomorrow. I would throw caution to the winds and tell anyone who would listen about Jesus. So why am I not doing it now?
Part of me says it's because I know that not everyone needs to be preached to. In fact, sometimes it's the last thing a person needs to be drawn to Christ. And another part of me says, 'But Robyn, you're not an evangelist.' And another part of me says, 'But what will they think of me?' And then I think... 'Really? You're going to try and make those kinds of excuses?'
And I know. I don't have to preach. But I do have to talk. I do have to try. I don't have to evangelize, but I do have to be honest. I do have to tell people and not hide behind the 'It's not polite to talk about something so controversial'. But really, people probably won't think much less of me. Sure, a few will think I'm crazy, a few more might unfriend (side-note... don't you just love that whole concept of 'unfriending'.... it's just bizarre!) me. But many people might just take something in.
So... yeah. I know the God of the Bible. I believe that Jesus was God's Son and He died on the cross so I can go to heaven. I believe that every word of the Bible is God-inspired. I am a pentecostal, hand-waving, tongues-speaking Christian. I am far from perfect, (a fact many of you can attest to) I do not have all the answers, and I get it wrong a fair bit of the time. But I am going to try much harder to make sure that my faith is known to everyone who knows me.
And that's about it for now.