The other day, Shane and I did some math, and we realized that we have been together for a long time. We started dating when we were teenagers at school 10 years ago.
I do like him. We drive each other crazy. But I do like him.
These past 2 years or so have tested us. They have been rough. There has been much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Last Friday, we got to go out on our own for the first time in a very long time. We went out and had dinner, and spent the night alone, together in a motel while my Mum looked after my babies (she is worth her weight in gold, I know). It was delightful.
Strangely, I have realised that I don't need Shane as much as I used to. But I think that's a really good thing. I think for a very long time, I used to rely too heavily on him. My security was in him, when it should have been in God. My love for him was very much that of a passionate, needy, desperate teenager.
That silly teenager, she still exists. Her neurosis still comes out every now and then. But mostly she has been replaced by a woman, who I've decided I actually like a lot.
Now, my security, my everything, lies solely in the hands of God. Which is much, much better for all of us. I don't need Shane the way I used to. But I sure do like having him around.
What we have, really, is in no way remarkable. It is what millions of people all over the world have. Love, commitment, support, family, children. And sure there is also stress, and work, sleepless nights.
But what we have, it's worth protecting, it's worth fighting for. What we have, is the thing that keeps men alive during war, it's a thing dying people wish they had, when they are alone on their death bed.
I am grateful for it. I am grateful for him.