Thursday, July 4, 2013

F%&#ing Shoes

Okay, so I'm about to tell you something. And can you please, promise you won't judge me? Because I assure you, I know, this is really bad. Like, this is a thing I am not proud of whatsoever. It's terrible, I know it. I want to change it.

This morning, we were getting ready to go to the park to meet a friend. Things were actually going really well. We were late, we are always late, but I wasn't tearing my hair out about it. I was just getting the kids out of the door, and saying "We need to find our shoes and put on our shoes". And then, my sweet, sweet girl, said "Fucking shoes."


She wasn't really clear. Probably I could have pretended that she hadn't said that word. If someone else was with me I would have pretended she said something different. But she did. I know she did. And what's worse, she said it matter-of-factly. Like that's just what you call them.

When I'm stressed, and angry, I swear. It's disgusting. I'm not proud. And I really don't want to. But sometimes I do. When we are leaving the house in the morning, sometimes it is a real process. It drives me mad. By the time I've gotten all of us dressed, dealt with at least one good poop explosion, and gotten everything organized... I'm tense.

Some mornings I do well. But very often, the last pitfall is the shoes. So by the time we get to put out shoes on, I will often snap "Just put on your fucking shoes!" And now Georgie thinks they are called 'fucking shoes.'

I know. I know. I'm terribly ashamed. I kind of can't believe I'm confessing this to you. But this is what I do. I'm not all lovely words, and beautiful thoughts. Sometimes I am cranky, and horrible. Ugly, and angry. All too often in fact.

So I sat down with Georgie, and I apologized. I told her that we shouldn't say that word. That it's not a good word. I told her that they are just shoes.

I am not proud of this. To be honest I don't even want a record of it. But I am putting it here, because I want to be real. I don't want my blog to be a place that is only filled with the good stuff. I don't want to present this image of myself as a perfect holier-than-thou person. Because I am not perfect. Oh no. I am not. I am lazy, and disorganised. I lose my temper far too easily. But I don't want to. And I am going to try to do better. I am going to try to organize myself better, and work on my time management, and my stress. So that we don't have 'fucking shoe' moments anymore.


  1. Don't feel bad is just such a common expression these days. The young ones at school walk past me and say it in everyday conversation and if I am on the train or bus, the same thing. I think they find it acceptable without even giving it a thought. Oh and guess what, it even slips out of me when driving. Slap my hand and call me naughty. A rather bad habit that I picked up at about the age of 50. And yes, I am not proud of it either.

  2. There's nothing quite like kids to point out our flaws.
    We've had our fair share of embarrassing moments here too. My three year old was bullied by some thug at the park the other day and instead of punching him or crying she simply said, "you're a little dickhead." At least she was using her words?
    The best thing is you apologised to Georgie and admitted you had done something wrong. So many parents cannot do that.

  3. I shouldn't have.. but I laughed. I can relate to a lot of this. I blame two things (my kid is a boy and my husband swears like a sailor) but really I am guilty like you. We aren't perfect, but hey neither were our folks and we turned out alright!

  4. I can relate to this! And I'm pretty sure a lot of other parents out there can, too. I'll never forget my oldest daugher, aged about 5, getting frustrated with something, and saying "Oh, for f***'s sake!" I was mortified! It sounds to me like you handled it really well.

  5. OH lovely! I know exactly how you feel on this one, honestly the words that come out of my mouth some days are just atrocious, they seem to slip on through before I even realise. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely lady, they way you share yourself is so awesome xx

  6. I have these hurried and tense 'fucking' moments too trying to get something done like getting out the door. My three year had the same dreaded mummy moment of saying 'fucking' before some aforementioned object, it's like a hold the phone moment too and I have to explain that it is only a grown ups word and miserably failing at the explaining bit. Nobody's perfect and if a swear word is what helps get through that moment, so what :) xxx

  7. I am waiting for the day when my daughter repeats me on that one! Eek. I will frequently use a few different things around the house when I am angry or frustrated. I hardly swore before I had kids now I am regularly swearing under my breathe. There are just no other words to use sometimes. The other day I called my husband a horrible name and she used the exact same language ten minutes later...oops. That was a little wake up call. It's nice to hear other mums experiencing the same thing as I too feel bad at times.

  8. No judgement girl, none at all xoxo God Bless you for explaining it to your little girl - when it comes to parents its not the mistakes you make its what you do with those mistakes that matters xoxox


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