There are many things, that, generally I don't tend to write about. I don't write about it when I am quietly simmering in anger at my husband, or when I totally lose my temper with my toddler. I don't write about the way I feel about my fat arms, and I certainly don't write on the days when it takes me two hours to get dressed because I hate the way I look in my clothes. I don't write about my dirty ceilings which are currently driving me insane, or those days when having two children under two drives me crazy. I don't write about the desperate tears in the shower, or how I am scared that eventually when she really starts talking my daughter is going to drop an f-bomb in some totally inappropriate place, because she heard it from me.
I also don't write about the amazing time I had while worshiping God the other night, I don't blog about the hilarious thing that my husband said that had us rolling around in laughter. I don't write about how I cleaned the toilet today and I don't blog about sex. I don't write about my last trip to the Doctor's, or our recent dilemma over circumcision. I don't blog about all the time that I waste on the computer at times, and I don't blog about the last conversation I had with my sister.
It's a question many bloggers seem to struggle with, where do you draw the line between authenticity, and airing out your dirty laundry?
I don't really plan on changing the way I write. But I just wanted to get this out there, because I know many of my posts lately have been about the good things that I am grateful for. And I am grateful. I've been thinking on the good things a lot lately. But for every positive post that is written, there is a negative one that is not. That is the way I choose to write. I choose to dwell on the good most of the time and try to forget the bad. That's how I try to live life most of the time. I think there's a lot of bad that nobody needs to see. I also choose to write mostly about the good stuff because I know my audience, and many of the people who read this are people who know me in real life, and I don't want a random acquaintance to know all the dirty details about my life. Sure I share some things, but I am careful. I'm sure if I wrote anonymously, I would be much more open, and candid, but I'd probably be much more negative and nasty at times too.
But I just wanted to remind you, I'm not perfect. I am so very, very human. I am doing my best to be better, but I am still me. I may sound positive and pleasant, but I still fight with my husband, lose my temper with my kids, and struggle with keeping my head in order just like the best of them.
There is always a lot going on underneath the surface.