Friday, January 27, 2012

Why bloggers are kind of like icerbergs...

The thing about blogging, is that generally, you only see about 10% of the blogger. Bloggers are kind of like icebergs. We write what we want to write, we tell people the things we want them to know. But there is often so much more going on beneath the surface.

There are many things, that, generally I don't tend to write about. I don't write about it when I am quietly simmering in anger at my husband, or when I totally lose my temper with my toddler. I don't write about the way I feel about my fat arms, and I certainly don't write on the days when it takes me two hours to get dressed because I hate the way I look in my clothes. I don't write about my dirty ceilings which are currently driving me insane, or those days when having two children under two drives me crazy. I don't write about the desperate tears in the shower, or how I am scared that eventually when she really starts talking my daughter is going to drop an f-bomb in some totally inappropriate place, because she heard it from me.

I also don't write about the amazing time I had while worshiping God the other night, I don't blog about the hilarious thing that my husband said that had us rolling around in laughter. I don't write about how I cleaned the toilet today and I don't blog about sex. I don't write about my last trip to the Doctor's, or our recent dilemma over circumcision. I don't blog about all the time that I waste on the computer at times, and I don't blog about the last conversation I had with my sister.

It's a question many bloggers seem to struggle with, where do you draw the line between authenticity, and airing out your dirty laundry?

I don't really plan on changing the way I write. But I just wanted to get this out there, because I know many of my posts lately have been about the good things that I am grateful for. And I am grateful. I've been thinking on the good things a lot lately. But for every positive post that is written, there is a negative one that is not. That is the way I choose to write. I choose to dwell on the good most of the time and try to forget the bad. That's how I try to live life most of the time. I think there's a lot of bad that nobody needs to see. I also choose to write mostly about the good stuff because I know my audience, and many of the people who read this are people who know me in real life, and I don't want a random acquaintance to know all the dirty details about my life. Sure I share some things, but I am careful. I'm sure if I wrote anonymously, I would be much more open, and candid, but I'd probably be much more negative and nasty at times too.

But I just wanted to remind you, I'm not perfect. I am so very, very human. I am doing my best to be better, but I am still me. I may sound positive and pleasant, but I still fight with my husband, lose my temper with my kids, and struggle with keeping my head in order just like the best of them.

There is always a lot going on underneath the surface.

I'm linking this post up with Glowless for Flog Yo Blog Friday.


  1. Oh my yes. The stuff im not blogging about at the moment would get a lot of hits but its just not worth the trouble.

  2. Yes, yes, Robyn!! I choose to make my blog a lovely, positive place to visit for the most part. There's enough crap going on in the world to add to it. My blog is a bit of an escape. A happy place. And that's ok.

    It's also ok to share the hard stuff, because bloggers are a supportive lot.

    It's your blog. Do what you like :) Now I'm off to read some more of it, because I just linked here for the first time and I like :)

  3. I absolutely love and agree with this analogy! I too hold back because I have boundaries I dont ever want to cross (the Internet is forever after all) and perhaps if I was more controversial or raw I'd get more hits. But that wasnt why I started blogging so I am happy to keep on the path I began on.

    And you should never have to apologise for feeling grateful or blessed - especially in the blog sanctuary that is your own.

    Fab post, really loved it x

  4. So well written hun - It is something i too am so concious of. Once in a blue moon I write things that are a little on the darker side of me, but my blog is my happy place a place where I want to focus on the good and the funny and escape from the bad.
    I love visiting your blog and I love visiting blogs that are happy. Not that I am dishing on the heavier blogs at all as there is a place for them too for sure, but when I visit a blog, I tend to visit the ones that make me feel good - not heavy. xxx

  5. I love what you have written here. Such a fine line isn't it?! but that's the joy I guess, whenever you hit that publish button.. You own those words. That's my motto anyway.

    Love whatever you write :)

  6. Yup, I'm there with you. When I blogged a few years ago I used to share a lot more. My blog was more personal, more nitty gritty, more day to day stuff. Now, I tend to write fluff more than anything. I don't want to get personal, I don't want to share my feelings, and I don't want people getting to know me or my family on a more personal level. It was a HUGE dilemma in the first place to even start blogging again, because I didn't want to let strangers inside. Not because I'm scared of what they might see and being judged, or scared of strangers in general, but because I just don't feel all that safe sharing anything more indepth. There are too many crazies around, too many people IRL reading this that I don't want to know my business, too much drama that I don't want a part of. I'm finding that it's a struggle to find a balance and to keep your audience happy and engaged with new and interesting content but at the same time to stay at your own personal comfort level of what you put out there.

  7. Interesting post and good perspective on the blogging world. I think is hard to get the balance right between being too open and not open enough. Good food for thought for all of us bloggers. Thanks!

  8. Lovely post Robyn and so very true. It is tricky working out what to share sometimes

  9. great post once again! i love your blog, i think you are an amazing writer!

  10. You kind of just did blog about all that stuff! I think it's important to to capture some of the tough stuff with the good things, it's what makes us who we are and also in my opinion helps others relate to you as they know it's not all rose colored glasses and we are all human. Do what works for you, but whilst I hold back a little I have found the more I share the more others do relate and it's braver to write the tough stuff than just the nice bits.

  11. so aptly put. i enjoyed this post. xxx

  12. Popping over from Flog your Blog. Intresting post. I think when I started blogging I used to let it all hang out but now I've gotten more private. That said, maybe I will do a post about scrubbing toilets one day that could be interesting.

  13. What a brilliant analogy and so so true!

  14. interesting and true for some but not for others. I guess everyone has there own 'line'. I recently got in the shits with my in laws for writing about them on my blog - which I will point out I don't do. I could devote and entire blog to there shenanigans but i prefer not to go there. My blog is my space and yes I do draw the line about how much i will expose.
    Lovely honest post

  15. Insightful analogy, Robyn. We all hold back for all sorts of reasons in real life so ehat's wrong eith doing it on our blogs. As long as we're not lying, then I think we're being authentic. Much wisdoms to this approach.


Thanks for stopping by, I would so love to hear your thoughts!

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