Tired thoughts

Three year olds huh? They’re the perfect mix of so-cute-you-wanna-gobble-them-up, and so-hard-you-wanna-run-away. I love my Ted. I really do. But he is not easy to have around lately. It’s so tough trying to do anything that is structured with the big kids, because he just blunders in like a toddler-shaped Godzilla and renders everything impossible. In his defence, he’s been a bit unwell. But man, is he ever pushing my buttons lately!

Honestly, I’m trying so hard to be grateful that I can work from home, and look after the kids and we haven’t lost jobs and stuff..... but I had just come out the other side of stay at home motherhood. And I was glad. I am a nicer and better Mum when I work. Not full time. I had been doing four days a week this past term, and that was a bit much. But three days is perfect. It gives me a bit of breathing room, and honestly, I think I appreciate the time I spend with my kids more. Mentally, I am much better when I’m working. But yet...... here we are. I’m trying to make my peace with it, and make the best of it. But man, the three year old sure doesn’t help matters.

Last night we had a ‘sleepover’ in the lounge room. We had homemade pizza and watched a movie and set up the mattresses on the floor. It went pretty well, but the kids had a super late night, and as a result we’ve all been a bit grumpy today. It’s probably been one of the toughest days so far. I think we’re all a bit sick of each other, and missing ‘normal.’

I know personally, I kind of went downhill after I went up to the kids school and picked up their term two work. I think the realisation just hit me.... that they won’t be going to school again after these holidays, and that things are going to look very very different for a long time. Not just a few weeks. I think I’m so anxious too, because you read about how awful things are in other places, and here where we are in rural Australia it hasn’t even hit yet. We don’t even have any confirmed cases in our region. Which is good, but it’s also scary to think about what’s to come.

Anyway, I’m not quite sure where I’m going tonight, I think I’m just really tired too, and probably things will all seem easier after a good nights sleep. Here’s hoping we all get one!