Finding the joy

I've been a little hormonal and emotional lately. Life has just been a..... challenge at times. But my little girl has been such a little ray of sunshine. And tonight she made me laugh. A big belly laugh that was hard to contain. She was eating her spaghetti, was insistent on doing it herself, and was making a hell of a mess. I kept on prompting her 'use your spoon' and she was trying so hard poor darling. But she just reminded me of the Beast in this scene from The Beauty and the Beast.

It was so funny! I could not stop laughing. And it made me realise I haven't been laughing much lately. I've been living a little like I'm anesthetized. That needs to change. So I'm going to try to live, and find the joy a little more.

As part of that I've also decided to try, actually try for something. You see, I was nominated for the Circle of Mums top 25 Australian Mum bloggers. It may seem trivial, but to me it was a bit exciting. But I did the whole 'Oh well, it's nice, but I don't stand a chance, so why even bother trying.' And so haven't really been making much of an effort to get people to vote for me. Because it's easier to act like it's no big deal and not win, than it is to make an effort and lose. At least then you can pretend that it didn't really matter, and you never cared anyway, right?

But the fact is. I do care. It's not like I'm going to be devastated if I don't get into the top 25. But I'm looking at the tally and right now I'm actually standing a chance of possibly making it into the top 25. I'm currently at number 37.  I know I am only a little fish, there are still many more days before the competition ends, and I don't blog for PR or anything like that. But, I've been blogging for almost a year and a half and this is the first thing like this to come my way. And it would feel good. I think we can all admit that a little bit of validation and recognition is nice. Particularly when you're a Mummy who spends her time being covered in snot and drool and poop. Motherhood doesn't come with many trophies.

So, if you like what you've read here, would you mind popping over and voting for me? It would mean a lot. I've just found out you can vote every day, so feel free to vote for me more than once! :) I'm going to try not to get stressed about it all. If I don't make it into the top 25, I don't and that will be okay. But if I do it would really make me happy. I'm going to try. I'm going to make a bit of an effort to live, to be myself. It's something worth doing.

I get that this may seem stupid to other people. But you know what? Not everyone is a plum. And it matters to me. Not earth-shattering, world-changing, important stuff. But right now a little validation would be nice. So I'm putting myself out there, not squashing what I think because I'm too busy agreeing with other people. I do that far too often. I get that this isn't for everyone. I get that it's a bit of a popularity contest and probably a bit unrealistic. But I'm giving it a go. I don't want my example for my kids to be 'don't try if you have no chance'. I want them to aim high. Live extravagantly. Want things. There is nothing wrong with trying to achieve something. Even if you don't get it, at least you tried.

I'm linking this post up with Kate for Thankful Thursdays, because I'm thankful my little girl inspired me to find the joy.