shattered

It's amazing how you can wake up one day and have a set plan, or expectation of how that day is going to go, only to reach the end of the day and feel like your world might not be the same.

This morning we had playgroup at my house. It was a nice morning. We drank coffee, and talked, and the kids played madly in the spring sunshine. Just as it was getting to lunchtime, Georgie got a bit tired and cranky and came and sat on my lap. She just wanted to cuddle.

And then all of a sudden, she was gone. She was there, but she wasn't. Her eyes were just starring blankly at me, as if she couldn't even see me. After half a minute or so, she came back. But she kept on doing it, again and again.

She's already done this before. Once, a week and a half ago, after we were swimming, and we went up to the hospital. But by the time they saw her, it was over, and they put it down to dehydration.

This time, I wanted to see my GP. So a lovely lady drove us down to the Doctor's, and came in with us, while the other ladies stayed with Charlie and the other children. This time, they took it seriously, and the nurse saw what we had seen.

By the time our Doctor came in, Georgie had stopped. But she listened too, and sent us up to the hospital in an ambulance.

Georgie and I spent a while at the hospital, she was admitted, and then by the grace of God we managed to see the pediatrician. He only comes to our regional hospital twice a month, but he was there today, and he came and saw us after his day was finished.

It looks like she may have been either having absence seizures, or maybe some kind of episode that is similar to when babies hold their breath. We will go to the city as soon as we can to get an EEG test done. She also has a UTI.

Today has been.... overwhelming.

It sucks that Shane is away in Perth this week, I know how hard it is for him that he isn't here. It sucks that we have to go away for further tests, and it sucks that my baby is not okay.

But...

God has seen us through this hard time. I am so grateful that I had such lovely friends that I could leave my boy with at the drop of the hat. I am so grateful that I have such a great extended family that helped us out any way they could. I am so grateful that the right Doctors and Nurses were on duty today. I am so grateful that my boy was such a champion while we were gone all afternoon. I am so grateful that we were allowed to go home tonight. And I am beyond grateful that my baby girl is currently lying safe and secure in her bed.

We'll just wait and see what tomorrow brings. But I know God will continue to see us through each and every tomorrow, just as he has done today. So right now I am not going to do any Dr Googling, but instead am going to try and get some sleep, and wait and see what tomorrow will bring.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34