Wednesday, August 31, 2011

On life, blogging, and things in between...

One question I find that comes up often in the blogosphere is 'Why do you blog?'.

My short answer? It's fun, it's enjoyable, it's good for the soul.

But really it's so much more than that.

Sometimes I write and I wonder what the point is. There are so many words out there, vying to be read, so many voices, and so many people who have more important, more eloquent things to say. At times it's easy for me to get caught up in the world of blogging and feel very inadequate.

Some days I am plagued by doubts. I have been blogging now for over a year and yet still feel like a new, very insignificant little fish in an enormous ocean. I notice someone who I avidly follow, and seems to follow so many of the people I interact with, and yet for some reason they don't follow me. I think 'What's wrong with me?' Or else I see conversations, or friendships developing on facebook or twitter and feel so out of it and am suddenly somehow transported back into ballet class being placed up the back because I'm 'tall' (big) or else back in the final year of school, suddenly feeling so out of place with my peers. You never really do squash that insecure teenager do you?

Some days I love the sense of community, the belonging, the feeling of being heard when so often as a Mum I feel like I have become a little invisible.

But it's not just that. Even if tomorrow I lost every follower and nobody ever commented or read a single post again I would still want to write. (I would probably be an inconsolable mess too, because after all I'm very human) But it is so nice to write. I love the memories my writing evokes. I read a post from months back and my memory is stimulated- I remember exactly how I was feeling, what I was doing, what prompted that particular post. I love blogging for the memories.

I also love the record that I am making here. I wrote once about The Why behind my blogging and that still hold true. I love that this is a record for my children of their mother. I don't have any expectation of dying young, I plan on being around for many grandchildren, but I love that this blog will give my children glimpses of their mother. I know if my Mum had ever written a diary or journal when I was growing up I would love to read it, I'd find it fascinating... and I hope maybe one day they might too.

Sometimes I look back on previous posts and cringe. It's embarrassing sometimes, baring your soul, especially when so many people I know read this. Sometimes I feel very silly. But at the same time it's very liberating, and I am well aware that I do have drama-queen tendencies, so knowing that there are people who I see every day who read this also keeps me very honest.

I also enjoy that feeling that I get when I see that somebody gets what I was trying to say. I love writing something funny and knowing I've made people smile and laugh (even if it's at me), or writing something that means something to me and having people listen, really listen. I also love writing about things that I find difficult and finding out that I am not alone.

So.... I write. I blog. It may not be perfect, it may never be anything out of the ordinary or particularly significant in the eyes of the world. But it's good.


  1. I think about this often. I guess I blog for me. I need a place to voice frustrations, joys, issues going on in my life. The occassional feedback in comments is sometimes just what I need to help get through the day. Keep writing!

  2. "I see conversations, or friendships developing on facebook or twitter and feel so out of it and am suddenly somehow transported back into ballet class being placed up the back because I'm 'tall' (big) or else back in the final year of school, suddenly feeling so out of place with my peers."

    This- exactly this!!! I know exactly what you mean. I have to keep reminding myself that I blog for me, and I'm perfectly happy in my own world. I dabble in the world of blog meets and friendships, but at the end of the day, it's just little old me at home.

  3. Yes, yes!! Oh I seriously could've written this word for word. Especially the part amy highlighted above. I have constantly have to reign myself in, reminding myself its nor a race or a competition. Its about me sharing my journey. its oh so very hard not to get tangled into the more more more regiment.

    I do love your blog :)

  4. Thank you ladies. Peg, I have just checked you blog and am an avid follower now! Amy and Loz- Thank you!! I love that you 'get' it! Amy it's so true when you said at the end of the day it's just little old me at home, and Loz, I too have to remind myself, it's not a race, it's the journey :)

  5. It's hard, but write like there's nobody reading! (Say's she who is addicted to Twitter, Klout and Google Analytics after just one month blogging!). I do remind myself though why I'm doing it, and the main reason has nothing to do with my Klout score ;)

  6. Write for yourself and if it happens to strike a chord with somebody else - bonus!

  7. I hear you - especially about watching friendships develop. It's hard not to feel out of the loop when it seems so many people you were interacting with are suddenly so very chummy with others and not talking to you so much.
    I found you via FYBF, will be back x

  8. I know what you mean. I often feel like that tiny fish too! I've found that if I have someone I want to be 'friends' with, then I seek them out on twitter, and @ them, and comment on their posts. After a while they notice you. :-) Blog meetups are also a good way of making that connection with bloggers as well.

    And no, that insecure teenager never is squashed. I can tell myself that I'm exactly how God made me, that he loves me, and thinks I'm perfectly acceptable, but I still like getting approval from people. *sigh* when will I ever learn?!


Thanks for stopping by, I would so love to hear your thoughts!

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