Bucket List

Today I watched the film 'The Bucket List' and it made me think about my own bucket list.

So here it is:

1. Stay up all night, just for fun. Not because I'm up with a baby, or because I have to. Just because I want to. Stay up all night just to see the sun rise.

2. Make a new friend, a really good friend, all by myself.

3. Witness a miracle.

4. Go bungee jumping. (I wanted to go when we went skiing in New Zealand, and Shane wouldn't let me, but one day, when my children are older, I'm going to go back and do it)

5. Spend a year without television.

6. Watch my children grow up.

7. Go to London.

8. Drive the Great Ocean Road with Shane.

9. Do a triathlon

10. Share my testimony to a congregation.

11.  Go on a boat, and go far out enough on the water so that I can't see land at all.

12. Go on a family holiday with my entire family (Mum Dad, sisters, etc)

13.Write something great.

12. Snorkel at the Great Barrier Reef.

13. Go to Canada.

14. Witness to somebody. Share my faith.

15. Get my manual license.

16. Win something. Something big.

17. See the Aurora Borealis. (Northern Lights)

18.  Learn to knit

19. Move somewhere where we know nobody.

20. Go camping. (and I mean serious camping in a tent, for like, a week or more- cabins don't cut it)

21. Fast. Do a serious biblical-type fast, for a very good reason.

22. Go to Israel. Stand where Jesus stood.

23. Ride a galloping horse (and don't fall off!)

24. Watch all of the Star Wars movies.

25. Ski down an advanced run (successfully)

This would be a photo of me just after I skied down a beginners run very UNsuccessfully!

Insert witty post tittle here

Georgie has been sick over the weekend. We've had a horrible couple of nights and I've been getting pretty stressed. Today when Shane got home he told me to go have half and hour, so I put a leash on Chloe and we went for a walk.

As I was walking I went past my old work and I started thinking about life before Georgie. I used to be incredibly busy, days were very full. I would wake at around 6:30am and go for a walk, then start work at 8:30am, and finish at 6pm with an hour for lunch. My work was pretty energetic, as I was the Group Leader in the pre-kindy room and was in charge of 16 children. I would generally go to the gym at 6pm, and do an exercise class of some description and not be home until 7:30pm or so, when I'd cook a very easy dinner, watch television for a while and then go to bed. Most days I would also ride my bike to work and then to the gym.  Shane started work at 5am and didn't get home until about 7pm. Life was pretty busy.

Now, Shane still leaves for work at around 5am. He normally gets Georgie up and brings her into bed with me, where I feed her and then she and I go back to bed until we wake, generally at around 8am. Then my days are filled with cleaning, Playgroup on Tuesdays, cleaning, coffee with friends, cleaning, groceries, cleaning.... and that's about it. I try to walk when I can, but I just seem to find it very difficult.

I don't want my old life back. I love Georgie to bits, and Shane and I see a lot more of each other and are much closer than we've ever been. But I still miss how full my days were. I long to be busy, busy, busy- constantly on the go and moving and doing. Life is much... slower, now. I don't want it to be this slow. I don't want to be as busy as I was before, but I wish I had a better balance than I do now, you know?

I can't sleep. But I'm always so tired. I just have so much trouble switching off. Many nights I can't sleep until at least midnight. I think some of that is because Georgie and I have been sleeping in lately, (partly due to the fact that we've been up in the night a lot recently due to teething and her being sick, and honestly, if you had a child who would sleep in wouldn't you?), and I know some of it is because I just enjoy the solitude of the night, when everyone's asleep and I can be alone without someone requiring something of me, but I also think some of it is because I'm just desperate to do.

I know that the busyness will come with more children. But I need to be more disciplined now. It was just so much easier when work did it for me.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to make myself wake up at 6:30am, regardless of what kind of night's sleep I had. I'm going to try to finish my Diploma in Children's services this year, and I'm going to make myself walk every day. I'm going to try. I just wish things weren't so hard.

Her Mummy

The local performing arts society in my town is doing a production of.......

And I want to be in it REAL bad. I think I could pull off Sandy.... (maybe? :)

However, I have a baby,  and with Shane's unpredictable hours there's just no way it can happen. It's quite frustrating because I'm finally at a stage where I have less inhibitions and would really enjoy being in a musical production, and my town hasn't really done a production that I would have loved to be in for a while.....

But she needs me. I am her Mummy. Something nobody else can be. And sure, I could probably (if I swung things right) be in the production. But it would be very unsettling for her. I would have to enlist an awful lot of help from my Mum (who doesn't need to be a babysitter all the time- especially when she is also working) and it would probably put an awful lot of strain on Shane too, especially if I was in a lead role.

There will be other productions. But Georgie will only be my baby once. So in the meantime, I will help out as much as I can with the choreography, which is still lots of fun. And I will remember that some people would give their eye teeth for all that I have. I am a Mummy. I am her Mummy.

In which I say not much at all....

Today was a day filled with sleeping and pyjamas and cuddles and playing peek-a-boo and washing (oh! the washing!) and not too much else.

We got back from being away yesterday, and boy was it a big trip! First and most importantly.... Wicked was fan-freaking-tastic! So, so, so, so great! I can't stop singing the songs, but I don't know them very well, so I just keep singing 'Pop-u-lar, you're going to be Pop-u-ooo-lar!' and yes, it's very irritating!

Next, while we were away Georgie cut her first tooth! It was not a great weekend for the cutting of teeth to occur. We were in a reasonably small hotel room for two nights, and those two nights were the worst we have EVER had with her. They consisted of lots of walking up and down corridors, pushing a pram, trying her in the baby carrier, crying, swearing and grizzling! I swear every time she got to sleep she would wake up within 20 minutes! Also, our air conditioner in the motel room broke on Friday night and started pouring out hot air, so at 3am Georgie was boiling hot and I put her in the bath to cool her down, which, in turn, woke her up, and then she didn't go back down until 5:30. It was just bad all round.

But the Saturday night was much better in comparison. It really helped that Shane and I had had a better afternoon on Saturday, and were less inclined to tear each others heads off... but it was touch and go there for a while my friends I'm telling you!

We also left our pillows in the motel room. And I know, it shouldn't matter that much, but it was my favourite pillow!! And I really really miss it! Also, I left a book that a friend lent me in one of the pillowcases (Bad friend!)  However I rang the hotel yesterday and they are supposed to be sending them back, so I'll be quiet!

But seriously.... my favourite pillow!

On the upside we got to catch up with some friends on Sunday night.  They're the kind of people you can catch up with, and it doesn't matter how long it's been, you're just so comfortable. You know those friends you see, and you don't feel like they're putting on a 'front' with you, and you don't have to be anyone but you with them? It was just nice.

We also had a really great time with my family. We went out for Greek on Saturday night- yummy! And then we had the most amazing breakfast on Sunday morning before we walked down to the river and wandered at the markets. It was just so lovely. I really enjoy the city, but still, I wouldn't want to live there. I just wish we could take a little bit of it back home with us. Our town isn't exactly the most exciting of places. But it is still so nice to be home.

The trip back was pretty uneventful, Georgie slept for most of it, and ate cucumber for the rest- it is one of best teething tools I ever discovered! But yesterday afternoon was a mad rush of grocery shopping, since we came home to no food, mowing, as the lawn was out of control, and then rushing to music practice for church. So it has been nice to have a quiet day today where Georgie and I didn't do too much. That is one of the nice things about stay-at-home-motherhood. If you're feeling pretty stressed and the kids are off, you can just elect to have a quiet day sometimes.

I would post some photos, but the camera is in the car and the car is already in the shed, and I do not go into the shed at night unless I absolutely have to. I really don't like spiders. So..... that's about it. I had nothing really significant to say, and I've said it, but feel better for it.

Goodnight.

home again, home again, jiggity jig

We're home, and it was an.... interesting/fun/challenging weekend. More to follow later. Here's what kept me sane for much of the trip:

Georgie LOVES cucumber... she spent most of her time in the car either sleeping or doing this:

today we had fun

Tomorrow we are headed away until next Monday and I could not be happier! I so need to get outta dodge at the moment. I plan on drinking lots of coffee, eating yummy food, visiting shops and maybe even a museum or an art gallery. Although, we will have Georgie with us, so maybe I won't set my expectations too high since the poor baby's teeth have still not come through yet. However, we are also going to see Wicked! (insert happy dance here) without Georgie, and I can't wait!

Dedication

Little Miss Georgie was dedicated yesterday. We've had a horrible few days.... days when I cried- a lot. Days when you wonder why you are married, why you even bother working, why we live in this little town... why we even follow God. It's funny, but I really do think life would be so much easier if we just didn't try sometimes, you know?

And I know we've just come out of a huge battle. But anyway, in the midst of all this stress and general horribleness. Georgie was dedicated. To be honest, I actually forgot that that's what we were doing this weekend. I got so caught up in getting her little outfit organised, worrying if Shane's parents would come and what that could mean, thinking about friends of ours that were coming, organising lunch, remembering that Shane was on Communion on Sunday and helping him and praying about that, plus I had to have my mandatory 'What on earth am I going to wear?' freak out (just once I'd love to be comfortable in my own skin). 

But, as usual, things worked out. Georgie looked cute, Shane's Mum came to the dedication, and I think even though she probably thought we were a bit odd (and really, to the outside world we are) it was okay, Shane did a great job of communion, our friends came and lunch was nice- and I was dressed and I know I looked fine, even if I can't feel that good about myself at the moment.  But I forgot all about Georgie. It wasn't until the Pastor mentioned the dedication and what it means that I got out of my head. When we went up to the front and my Dad prayed for Georgie and started talking about the generational faith, and the Pastor prayed for her I remembered that God was in it. And it hit me.

Yesterday was so much more than I made it. It was Shane and I, uniting with God to raise Georgie.  Dedicating her life to God. It was us, holding ourselves accountable to our friends, family and our church, to ensure that we raise Georgina to know God.... giving her up to God. It reminded me of what's important. Not what we wear or how we feel- but who HE is.

Georgie..... Isn't she just beautiful?

My Dad talking about Georgie and about to pray. We are so blessed by family.

Pastor Shane praying for Georgie. We are so blessed in our church.

So now I'm going to try to remember, and recognize. Of course we had a horrible weekend. We have just done a very important thing, and the enemy did not like it. They fought it every step of the way.

But what we are doing is worth fighting for.